As a Specialist Family Law Solicitor, the saddest aspect of relationship breakdown is the impact it has on the children. Whatever the rights and wrongs are between the adults, the children are the innocent ones, but who very often are caused most heartache.

The Children Act 1989 provides that in any Court proceedings involving the upbringing of children, the Court must put the children first. All issues, such as residence (formerly known as physical custody) and contact (access), will be decided on the sole criteria of what is in the best interests of the children. It is not a question of who is the best parent and there is certainly no legal presumption in favour of Mothers.

Another fundamental change in the law brought in by the Children Act was that on breakdown (even divorce) the Court will not automatically make any Orders because of the simple principle that the best people to decide on the arrangements for their children are the parents themselves. It is only if the parents have different views on any major aspect of the childrens’ upbringing will the need arise for either parent to apply to the Court.

In the case of a divorce notwithstanding the ending of the marriage, both parties continue to have equal parental rights and responsibilities (formerly legal custody). Accordingly, it is to be hoped that they can, as they did before the separation, agree what is best for the children.

Happily most parents are able to resolve the arrangements for the children without any legal involvement. That said, it is never easy to deal with such issues as contact because there is in one sense no ideal arrangement so far as the children are concerned when their parents, whom they both love, have split up.

Even if it proves necessary for one party to involve the Courts, in most cases now the first appointment at Court will include Mediation where the parties are encouraged to resolve matters by agreement.

In the sad event that a Judge must determine the arrangements, he or she will consider the childrens’ physical, educational and emotional needs and the wishes of each child depending on their maturity. The Court may be helped by a Welfare Report prepared by a trained Officer who, unlike the Judge, will meet the children and seek to establish how the children feel about things.

Parents who cynically seek to use their children as pawns against the other parent must remember that as a bullet is damaged on being fired, so too are children damaged if they are used as a weapon. So despite the common perception that Lawyers make matters worse, a Family Law Solicitor is in fact trained to help parents resolve child issues in a constructive and conciliatory child focused way.

If you would like advice on this or any other family related matter, please do not hesitate to contact Timothy Owers or another member of the Family Team on 01379 643555, or via our website www.jsm.co.uk.