The break up of a relationship may be an upsetting and traumatic time. People are understandably emotional. They may feel betrayed, rejected, angry, bewildered and frightened about the uncertainty of how things may pad out. Often, it will be difficult to focus and to appreciate that there is a life after separation and divorce, even if it does not seem likely at the time.

At some point however, it will be time to take stock and move on. Nearly everyone in this type of situation will need some advice, even if at the start this is simply to talk things through with someone. Often, friends and family will rally round and offer support, doing their best to help, both emotionally and practically.

Whilst this support is extremely important, well meant advice from friends and family on finances and arrangements for children etc can lead down the wrong track. Every relationship is unique, and different factors are relevant. Informal ‘advice’ can quickly give rise to each party having unrealistic expectations of what they should be entitled to and how quickly matters can be resolved. This only adds to the stress of what is already a very difficult situation.

There can be a reluctance to seek legal advice when things first start to go wrong, the perception being that it will signal the first step towards a lengthy and acrimonious court battle between the parties. However, obtaining specialist professional advice from a family solicitor at an early stage is extremely important and need not be an inevitable step toward litigation.

Clear advice on how the law applies to an individual’s situation will enable issues to be prioritised and provide a realistic assessment of what can be achieved. This helps to manage expectations and offers a far better opportunity for reasonable arrangements to be negotiated, saving time and expense and (hopefully) reducing animosity. Even if the parties have already agreed what they would like to do in principle, professional advice should be sought to make sure that those arrangements can be validly implemented.

The need for early advice is particularly important where one party has business interests or both are involved in a family business. It is often very difficult (if not impossible) for couples to avoid problems at home arising from a break up from affecting their working relationship. This can seriously damage the business which may also be the only source of family income.

Often the parties will never have considered written partnership or shareholders’ agreements between them. This can mean that problems may quickly lead to dissolution or deadlocking of the business if matters are not handled carefully. One of the parties may be an employee of the business, so that they will have all the usual statutory rights not to be unfairly dismissed by their partner. Prompt legal advice can ensure the wrong steps are not taken and enable the parties to agree acceptable interim arrangements allowing the business to continue operating effectively, whilst a general settlement is negotiated.